Stephen Pollard and Kishon’s Doggie

19 March 10

Ephraim Kishon once wrote a story about how he tried to train his dog not to do its business on the lounge carpet. Every time the dog did so, told us Kishon, he would pick up the dog, stick its nose into its own product, and then throw it out into the garden.

Eventually, the dog became so well trained, that it would do its business on the lounge carpet, stick its nose into its product, and then, all by itself, fly out into the garden. 

Today Stephen Pollard has just done almost all of that, but in the opposite direction.

He’s just published an article in today’s Guardian (our symbolic ‘garden’) in which he explains how it’s the Palestinians who are responsible for lack of progress in Peace Talks with Israel.

Fine. Good work!  JCWatch applauds Pollard. Read it for yourself.  Get the link from Pollard, here:

But then he has to run into the house and crap (sorry!) all over his own lounge carpet, by writing in the JC website Blogs section Front Page, as follows:


I am accused of defending the settlements and Israeli building in East
Jerusalem. Where though? You will not find a word of that from me,
anywhere, in any piece, ever. Because I don’t defend them.

 I think the settlements are wrong morally, politically and practically, and I would  like to see some form of international protectorate over Jerusalem.
And I’ve written that many times.
[End Quote]

As we said above, Stephen has just done almost all of what Kishon detailed in his ‘training program’. Why “almost“? Because there’s one item remaining from the Kishon story.

And that is what JCWatch is here for, Steve old boy.

To stick your nose in it.


The title of Pollard’s above article is “Guardian readers appear not to be able to read”.

Maybe the problem isn’t with the readers?

From what we have just read, maybe Pollard knows how to write, but for the Jewish Editor of a Jewish newspaper  he hasn’t got the foggiest idea of what to write!


A few weeks ago – when Pollard was replying to my emails because I wasn’t yet posing any kind of threat to him, he wrote to me:

our readers … rightly see us as a beacon of support for Israel in an otherwise hostile UK media“.

Mr. Pollard, esteemed beacon of support for Israel, I would dearly love to know exactly where your readers buy their mushrooms!


  Humour and sarcasm apart, what Pollard wrote about settlements and Israeli building in East Jerusalem was disgusting.

At two separate levels.

One, “I think the settlements are wrong morally, politically and practically” – on what “moral” level exactly do you find the settlements wrong? On what are your morals based, Pollard?

They certainly aren’t based on Judaism. I’m willing to bet good money that your knowledge of Judaism is limited: can you read (and understand) Rashi script? Can you name the sections of the basic book of Jewish Law – the Shulchan Aruch?

That last question was rhetoric for one who announces publicly that he eats meat (chicken) and milk together.

Q. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?
A. At home with my wife eating chicken soup and matzoh balls and a cheeseboard.
– you don’t have any problem flouting Jewish Law in public.

So what exactly is the source of your “moral” standards for judging settlements in Israel?

Two, you don’t live in Israel. You don’t share the hardships. Haven’t lived through Israel’s many wars. Don’t pay Israeli taxes, didn’t risk your life in the IDF, or leave your family for a month every year for reserve IDF duty. Didn’t stay awake at nights when your kids decided to follow the example you never set by volunteering to serve in tough, IDF combat units.

You have not earned the right to try and influence public opinion on vital matters concerning Israel, in which you have invested … zilch.

“I would like to see some form of international protectorate over Jerusalem” – this is extreme, extreme left, which explains the filth that you publish on your blogs.  I haven’t recently heard even the most extreme Israeli leftist express a similar desire. How dare you, Pollard, wish foreigners over me in MY city? 

 Let’s just take a look at YOUR city for a few moments …

A few years ago I flew to London from Israel 4 times over a ten-month period, on family business. On one occasion I noticed that the taxi-driver was taking a far-longer than usual route from the airport to my destination. I asked him why, and he explained that a road was still closed because of an I.R.A. bombing, a week earlier. In Israel the same road would have been closed for a maximum of six hours.

On a second occasion I was on an underground train that had pulled into a station. Suddenly the loud-speakers announced that there was a suspected bomb in the station, and that nobody should leave the train. At the same time, a porter ran the length of the platform shouting to people on the train to get off it because of a bomb-scare. Indecision. Confusion. Panic.

And on a third occasion, when returning to Israel, I arrived early at the El-Al counter at Heathrow, so I Ieft my luggage cart to keep my place in the queue and went to sit some 15-20 yards away. If you’ve flown El-Al, you’ll know that the El-Al terminal at Heathrow is one of the few places in the UK where police patrol armed with sub-machine guns and side-arms. A team of a policeman and policewoman walked towards the El-Al area and noticed the unattended luggage cart, obviously suspicious under those circumstances. I immediately called out out to them that the cart was mine. The policewoman heard this, and began pushing the cart towards me. I won’t go into Israeli procedures under similar circumstances, but what the policewoman did was a definite no-no from the security point of view, born of a combination of good-will and lack of experience with terror.

My point is that while Britain is still paying off its debt for recognising terrorists such as Arafat and others, it is  performing  inadequately in protection of its citizens, because of a lack of both experience and determination. Yet nobody in Israel ever came out and said “Britain can’t protect its citizens – I would like to see some form of international protectorate over London.”

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Yet people like Pollard can mouth off similar suggestions regarding Israel, and nobody sees anything unusual about it. This is because of a historical backdrop of 2,000 years of anti-Semitism (which also layed the groundwork for Nazism), combined with the fact that the State of Israel, by its very existence, puts the lie to the Christian “Wandering Jew” theory – which forced the Catholic Church in 1964 to revise its ideologies regarding Jewish responsibilty for the death of Christ.

So we understand fully Christians who say “I would like to see some form of international protectorate over Jerusalem”.

But the JEWISH Chronicle?


Avraham Reiss   –   Jerusalem
Nisan 5770          –     March 10 


2 Responses to “Stephen Pollard and Kishon’s Doggie”

  1. jcwmoderator Says:

    No. It’s below “Le Roi’s” dignity to acknowledge the peasants’ uprising …

  2. JON COHEN Says:

    Great article re Kishon’s Doggie!! Still no response from Mr Pollard?

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